


Nobody Does It Better

by saiditallbefore



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-09
Updated: 2016-09-09
Packaged: 2018-08-14 02:50:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7995832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saiditallbefore/pseuds/saiditallbefore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the <i>Dark Aster</i>, Gamora searches for an escape from Thanos while trying to evade Nebula's suspicions. In the Kyln, Drax embarks on a new plan to destroy Ronan...subtly. And on Xandar, Rocket, Groot, and Peter are offered the job of a lifetime.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nobody Does It Better

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Snickfic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snickfic/gifts).



> I had tons of fun writing this for you, Snickfic, and I hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> Fic title is, of course, stolen shamelessly from [Carly Simon's song of the same name](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNA7DcVppEs).

Peter strolled into the Nova Corps headquarters on Xandar, trying not to betray any signs of nerves. He’d taken up a contract or two for the Corps before— he’d work for just about anyone, so long as he got paid— but that was small-time stuff. A transmission offering payment for information on a crime lord, or a quick detour to carry an artifact to headquarters on Xandar. (Peter didn’t get offered that second kind anymore, not after he turned around and sold a datachip the Nova Corps wanted to a third party for twice the Nova Corps’ offering price.)

But this was different. He hadn’t been told anything over the transmission, except that he was to report to Nova Corps headquarters for a job. Peter had thought about not bothering to show, but the amount he’d been offered for this job was too good to pass up.

“Quill?”

Peter turned to see a shapely woman with dark purple skin, in the blue uniform of the Nova Corps. Despite her bright colors, she seemed to blend in with the sterile white decor of the Nova Corps headquarters. Probably something about the uniform.

“You’re Agent Dey?” Peter asked. Uniform or not, if _she_ was the one in charge, this day was looking up.

“No. Follow me.” The woman— who apparently wasn’t going to waste time on introductions or small talk— marched down an adjoining hallway at a brisk pace. Peter had to jog to keep up.

After walking for what seemed to Peter like ages— seriously, how big was this place?— the woman finally stopped and opened a door.

“Quill’s here,” she announced to whoever was inside. She departed, as efficiently as she had led Peter there. _Maybe she’s an android_ , he mused.

Peter entered the room and shut the door behind him. Once inside, he stopped in his tracks, having noticed the other two occupants: a raccoon, and a tree.

“I am Groot?”

_Oh, goody. The tree talks._

* * *

Drax was a failure.

He had failed to stop the Kree from destroying his planet, and he had failed to save his wife and daughter. But he would not fail at killing Ronan. In this, at least, he would be a success.

Ever since being locked away in the Kyln, Drax had thought very carefully about what he would need to do to succeed at killing Ronan. His first plan had been to face Ronan and his warriors head on, as a warrior should. And it had failed.

So if Drax could not defeat Ronan as a warrior, he would have to be something else.

And when Drax finally got his opportunity to escape from the Kyln, he was ready. He would not be a warrior any longer.

From now on, he would be an assassin.

* * *

Gamora strode out of Ronan’s receiving chamber as quickly as she dared, wishing that for once she could run or fight or—

“You look tired, sister,” Nebula said. The words may have been kind, but Nebula turned them into weapons, probing for any sign of weakness.

“Only of listening to one as insignificant as Ronan,” Gamora replied.

“Thanos will deal with him quickly enough.” Gamora was not sure whether Nebula thought this was a good thing.

“Of course,” Gamora replied aloud. But half a dozen other things she wanted to say came to her lips: _What happens when Thanos wins, when there is nothing left to conquer?_ Or, _Don’t you find this tiresome?_ Or, _And who will deal with Thanos?_ Or, _I hate him for what he made me. Don’t you?_

But though Nebula might waver in her loyalties, just as Gamora did, she would be quick to report any hint of treachery to Thanos. Instead, Gamora changed the subject. “Do you want to spar with me? I could use a challenge for once.”

“A challenge for you, maybe.” Nebula smirked. It was the closest she ever came to a smile.

They walked in companionable silence to a training room, which was occupied by a number of Ronan’s soldiers. The men all cleared the sparring mat as soon as Nebula and Gamora entered; whether out of respect or fear, Gamora was unsure. Either way, their reputation preceded them.

Gamora took her spot on the mat across from Nebula. She unsheathed her blade, as Nebula unsheathed her electroshock batons. It was a familiar dance; they’d faced off many times before.

Nebula was the first to move, a whirl of silver and blue. Gamora swung her sword upward, and blocked her sister’s batons. Then she kicked out, hoping to throw Nebula off-balance and gain the upper hand, but Nebula, who knew Gamora’s tricks, dodged.

They traded blows like this for several minutes, feeling each other out without either one gaining any real advantage.  

Nebula leapt to dodge one of Gamora’s jabs, and landed in a crouch. With a quick pivot, she turned it into a low spinning kick, sweeping Gamora’s legs out from under her. Gamora fell, but wrapped her legs around Nebula, pulling her down on top of her.

Nebula was far heavier than she appeared, thanks to her many cybernetic enhancements. She leaned into Gamora, pushing her into the mat, and held an electroshock baton to Gamora’s neck.

“I win,” Nebula said smugly, but she made no move to get up or to untangle herself from Gamora’s limbs. “You’re getting soft, _sister._ ”

Gamora ground her teeth. It was one thing for Nebula to taunt her in private, but in front of Ronan’s men? This was intolerable.

When Nebula finally allowed her up, Gamora felt even more restless than before, and she couldn’t shake away the feeling of Nebula’s body on top of hers.

* * *

Agent Dey was a gibbering moron. That was the only way anyone could come up with such a half-assed, harebrained scheme. Sure, he was offering more credits than Rocket could sneeze at, but it wouldn’t do him any good if he got himself killed by the Kree Empire along the way.

Rocket tuned back in, just in time to see Quill lean toward Dey conspiratorially. “Look, you and I both know that I can do undercover,” Quill said.

Rocket rolled his eyes expansively, but Quill continued.

“But these guys?” Quill waved a hand in Groot and Rocket’s direction. “They’re not fooling anybody! I don’t think there’s a single other person in the galaxy who looks like these guys!”

“Much as I hate to agree with the idiot, he’s not completely wrong. Me and Groot, we’re information brokers. We find out what you need to know and sell it to the highest bidder. We don’t do none of this undercover shit.”

“I’m not asking you because you’re subtle,” Dey said. “I’m asking you because you’re scum.”

“Look, asshole—” Rocket began.

“If the Kree are really trying to expand into Xandarian space, then we need to know. And if Ronan is back…” Agent Dey trailed off ominously.

Rocket narrowed his eyes. It still sounded like a shit idea to him. “Half the payment up front.”

“Me too!” Quill chimed in.

“A quarter,” Dey countered.

“A third, or me and Groot walk.” Rocket crossed his arms.

Behind him, Groot stood, stretching to his full, intimidating height. “I am Groot,” he rumbled.

“Fine. A third up front. For all of you.” Dey added the last part just as Quill was about to open his loud-ass mouth again. “But if anyone skips out on me, the Nova Corps will issue a warrant for their immediate arrest. Is that clear?”

“Absolutely.” Rocket grinned. After all, he and Groot could handle a couple of Nova Corps goons if things went south.

* * *

Ronan called his ship the _Dark Aster_. Drax was not sure why, as it was well-lit, and it didn’t look remotely like a flower. It was one of the things Drax pondered, when he was not working on his plan of killing Ronan.

Drax had less time for pondering now that his plan was finally being put into action. Ronan believed the Kree were a superior species. This was clearly false: if the Kree were superior, Drax would not have been able to kill so many of them. But it meant that it was very difficult for Drax, who was clearly not Kree, to get close to Ronan.

Drax had landed on a planet called Knowhere when he heard the rumor that Ronan was looking for a bounty hunter. Drax was not fond of bounty hunters; too often, they turned to trickery instead of killing or capturing their quarry honorably. But— Drax reminded himself— there was no way to kill Ronan without trickery.

With that in mind, Drax sold the ship he had stolen from the Kyln, and bought some armor to disguise himself and another, smaller ship, to transport him.

He was ready to meet Ronan.

* * *

Peter was trying very hard to ignore Rocket and Groot, who seemed intent on trashing the _Milano_. Rocket was in the middle of the floor, metal parts from a gun and a broken transmitter and who knew what else scattered around him. Groot kept poking at things, like all Peter’s junk was the most fascinating shit he’d ever seen.

Peter had just managed to rescue his Walkman before one of his new passengers decided to take it apart to examine it. Besides, there was no feeling flying his very own spaceship while listening to the best tunes Earth had to offer. (Unless it was having sex and listening to his tunes.  Then it was a toss-up.) Unfortunately, even Hooked on a Feeling wasn’t quite enough to drown out the noise of his new companions.

Awesome Mix Vol. 1 had just reached its end when Rocket yanked Peter’s headphone’s off. Peter snatched them back with a (sadly, undignified) yelp.

“So, hotshot, what’s the plan?” Rocket asked, condescension oozing from every word. Peter was not about to be outsmarted by a _raccoon_. Even if that raccoon had some seriously awesome weapons.

“We’re going to land on Kree-Lar, and keep an eye out for anything suspicious.”

“That’s a terrible plan!”

That wasn’t fair. Peter had awesome plans. Even

“It’s a great plan!” Peter protested.

“I am Groot!”

Yeah, that talking tree thing was still weird.

“See,” Peter argued, “He agrees with me!”

Rocket gave Peter a look that conveyed just what a dumbass he thought Peter was. “He wants to know how we’re supposed to sneak into the capital city of the Kree Empire.”

_Oh. Right. That._

“We tell everyone we’re traders. Or smugglers. Or something.” Peter shrugged. “I dunno— I usually wing it.”

Rocket rubbed at his temple, like he was getting a headache. Peter rolled his eyes— the plan wasn’t _that_ bad.

“Alright, look,” Rocket said. “Here’s what we’re gonna do...”

* * *

Ronan had cloistered himself away with his generals, presumably to give them orders. Only a lesser being would take counsel, or speak of strategy.

Gamora did not mind. It gave her more time to plan her own strategy.

She had been told that a valuable object was being brought to the _Dark Aster_ ; Ronan believed it would be the key to his victory. Thanos had commanded Nebula and Gamora to retrieve it for him.

 _It could only be a weapon_ , Gamora reasoned. _What else would Thanos desire?_ And any weapon powerful enough to catch Thanos’s eye would be a valuable bargaining chip for her. If she could take it to Xandar, perhaps she could use it to negotiate with the Nova Corps: the device for her freedom— and her life.

With these tentative outlines of a plan in place, Gamora took a walk through the cavernous hangar bay, looking for something she would be able to use to escape when the time came.

She was not the only person in the hangar; there were always mechanics down there, keeping the various ships maintained. She paid no attention to them.

But there was a person in the hangar who did draw Gamora’s attention. He was not Kree, but she was not sure what species he was. To the best of her knowledge, the only non-Kree individuals on the _Dark Aster_ were herself and Nebula.

Gamora had already turned her attention away when the individual in question approached her.

“I must speak to Ronan,” he declared.

Gamora grimaced inwardly. Was she to act as Ronan’s go-between, then? This was insulting. “I am not his keeper,” she said haughtily, with a toss of her hair.

“Ronan has sent for a bounty hunter,” the person answered, nearly as haughtily as Gamora.

“And you’re him?”

He jutted his chin out. “I am…” he hesitated just a moment too long. “I am The Destroyer.”

“I see.” Gamora briefly entertained the thought of finding out the true mission of the so-called Destroyer, but dismissed it quickly. Whether he was a spy, a bounty hunter, or something else, he was clearly hiding something. _Let Ronan’s security deal with it. I was not brought here to vet every incompetent he hires._

Gamora continued. “I wish you luck.” She softened her expression into something resembling a smile.

Perhaps he would deal with Ronan for her.

* * *

Okay, so, maybe Peter’s plan hadn’t been so great after all.

* * *

 Rocket was done. Giving up. Not even going to try any more. Sure, he’d get himself and Groot out of this shitshow, but Xandar could stick it.

Quill didn’t even know the meaning of the word subtle. Sure, he could bitch about Groot, but that idiot wasn’t the one who turned the Kree Empire onto what they were up to.

So if it was anyone’s fault they were being shipped off to Ronan’s ship to be locked up, or executed, or whatever the fuck, it was Quill’s.

* * *

Gamora and Nebula stood, listening as Ronan gave orders to his subordinates. Outside, Gamora was the perfect picture of obedience.

Inside, however, she was in turmoil. Ronan had come into possession of the object— the weapon— he had desired. He had not opened the orb it was kept in yet, but Gamora knew it was only a matter of time. Currently, Ronan was speaking to The Destroyer, his new pet bounty hunter.

But everything suddenly went silent when The Destroyer pulled out a knife and began attacking Ronan. Several of Ronan’s guards stepped forward, but Ronan waved them away, electing to fight the rogue bounty hunter himself.

Taking advantage of the distraction, Gamora crept over to the orb. No one was paying attention to her— except for Nebula. Steeling herself, Gamora snatched the orb and began to run, only to stop when she saw Ronan standing over the newly-disarmed Destroyer, about to smash his war hammer into the Destroyer’s head.

For reasons she couldn’t even explain to herself, Gamora jumped in the way, twisting the war hammer out of Ronan’s hands and tossing it away.

_ If I’m going to leave Thanos’s service, I may as well do it in as dramatic a fashion as possible. _

Then she turned, and ran as quickly as she could toward the hangar. Footsteps followed behind her. Gamora risked a glance, as she turned a corner, and saw Nebula in pursuit.

A pang went through Gamora’s chest. Nebula was the one thing Gamora was loath to leave behind. She called over her shoulder. “Come with me, sister!”

Nebula laughed bitterly. “And go where? You know what Thanos has made me!”

Gamora did not waste her breath arguing. For all she knew, this entire plan was futile and she would be imprisoned or executed for her crimes.

The Destroyer ran out of an adjoining corridor and stood in Gamora’s way.

“Why did you stop him?” he asked.

Gamora shoved him, using the force to leap over him. “I don’t have time for this!” At any moment, Ronan’s soldiers would converge upon her. She could cut her way through them easily, but it would slow her more than she wanted. 

When she finally reached the hangar bay, the Destroyer and Nebula were still in pursuit. There were no mechanics, for once; they had probably all fled once the alarm had sounded. But there were three beings there, apparently attempting to steal a ship.

_ They’re not Kree, and the clothes look like prison uniforms. Escapees who are taking advantage of the mayhem. _ Gamora approached the unlikely trio— a small, furry mammal, a tree, and a Terran. She pointed her sword at them.

“Take me with you,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t have to act on her implied threat. Behind her, she could hear The Destroyer and Nebula catching up to her.

“No. Absolutely not,” the furry mammal said.

The Terran glanced her up and down. “It’s my ship— I get to say who can come. And I say she’s alright.”

_ Ugh. _ But Gamora would take whatever help she could get, if it would get her to Xandar.

As she stepped onto the ship, a hand latched onto her wrist.  _ Nebula. _

“Thanos will destroy you,” Nebula said flatly.

Gamora yanked her wrist away. There was no response she could think of that was appropriate. Everything she wanted to say was entirely too earnest to say aloud.

“I am Groot?” the tree said.

“He wants to know if your friends are coming, too,” the furry mammal said, apparently resigned.

“No,” Gamora said.

At the same time, The Destroyer answered. “I am coming,” he said, following Gamora onto the ship.

As the ship lifted off and flew away, Gamora had one thought in her head:

_ This is going to be a disaster. _


End file.
